DO NOT PUT YOUR CHILDREN IN THE CARE OF FAMILY MEMBERS -By Adetayo Omotayo Emmanuel Adedayo Ojelade

I remembered this particular incident that shaped and reshaped my closeness with family members vividly. This incident also made me make a decision never to put any of my children under the tutelage of any family members.
It happened in the year 2010,there was a girl called "Esse." Esse was from Bayelsa state, she stayed with her aunt named "Mama Joseph." Mama Joseph had four children, three boys and a girl, Joseph was the eldest and he was my friend.
Mama Joseph sells recharge card and clothes, alongside studying.


I noticed that Esse was always maltreated, she was a very nice girl to me and my mother, that much I can confess. I got talking with her one day, Esse, I called out, "Yes, Emmanuel, she answered.
"Why is it that you always looked troubled ? She looked left and right and after a very deep breath, she was reluctant at first, but I persisted in trying to make her speak out."


Finally she obliged, "I don't know the reason but, anything I do never seems to satisfy my aunty and her family."  The discussion continued and when she needed someone to talk to, I was always there.


After few months, I noticed that Esse was getting depressed, always crying. So in my usual manner, I asked what the problem was this time around ?


"Esse's face was a pool of tears."
"Emmanuel, I heard my name, can I confide in you ?"
She asked
And I said "Yes."
Still crying profusely, "Esse, opened the dark chapters of her life for me to peruse."
Can you believe that I have been forced to abort for a number of four times ?
Esse was raped by her Aunty's (Mama Joseph) husband, and when she got wind of the situation, "Esse" was the culprit, called all sort of name, beaten "blue and black." After the drama that followed, Esse got pregnant, and against her wish, she was forced to abort the pregnancy. That was the beginning of her problem in life.


Few months after the abortion, Esse was also raped by Mama Joseph's younger brother called "Peter." Peter was much older than Esse, he was a a tall guy with heavy chest.
The day was on a Sunday morning, Mama Joseph, her husband and her children had gone to church. So "Esse and Peter" were the only one at home. Esse was busy doing house chores when Peter grabbed her from behind, she struggled to get herself of him, but he overpowered her.
I looked straight to "Esse" eyes like a Police inspector who wants to find the crux of the crime he is investigating.
But why didn't you shout ?
Esse replied ; I tried to, but he tied my mouth immediately, and he already increased the music that was playing from the loudspeaker.


When Mama Joseph came, Esse reported the issue to her, in what seem to be a repetition of what happened earlier between "Esse and Mama Joseph husband, she was blamed for seducing Peter."
After few weeks, Esse started developing the signs of pregnancy, Mama Joseph in connivance with Peter and her husband, took her to the hospital to remove the pregnancy.
For years, Esse was repeatedly raped by those two (Peter and Mama Joseph's husband.)


When I couldn't bear it any longer, I revealed everything to my mum. She immediately reported the issue to the nearest police station. Mama Joseph, her husband were subsequently arrested. The case never saw the light of the day, money already exchanged hands, they were released the next day.


Esse was left alone to bear the shame, she was sent back to the village. She never got justice, instead she was ridiculed by the people and the  society that was supposed to protect her.


That was the experience I had while growing up, and it informed by decision never to put any of my children under anyone's care, not even family members, no matter how hard it is. I also made a decision to watch the steps of my children (both boys and girls) when I eventually start having them.



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